Friday, May 14, 2010

FAR BEHIND

Yes, Stephanie i know it is time to update and yes I know I have no pics! I'm lucky just to figure out the blog part. I set up a cute little template at home and then i go to work and there is something different - go figure - i'm just not tech savy. So I have tons to catch up on and lots i want to share. This is a place where I try to just say what is on my mind and God puts in my heart so....the catching up will have to wait a little longer. I cannot sleep and I really felt the need to get up and blog. DEATH, i know it is not an uplifting story but i have agonized all week over this. My grandmother died Monday night, we were not especially close due to hurt and anguish from as far back to my childhood. Nor, am I close to ANY of that side of my family. Mind you she was 92! That is a long time to harbor all those pent up feelings. In the past few months with my everchanging life I truly forgave her for everything but I could not get past the forgetting. During this week I hurt my Mom because i could not get past ME and just be there for my mom and give my grandmother the respect she so deserved. Good Grief! she was 92, she doesn't even remember those things! I did not realize until the day we buried her how much I have missed out on and will always regret. I feel like God has a plan even thru death, i know he did with my brother because it changed many lives forever. After the funeral my long lost cousins, aunts and uncles enjoyed dinner together and I realized how much I miss them, how much now more than ever we need to be together because we are all that is left of her. The forgetting part is over and I look forward to getting to know my long lost realatives. If you have someone in your life that you are not quite right with I urge you to straighten things out, regret is a horrible thing to live with.

1 comment:

THE HUGHES FAMILY said...

jenny,

i am sorry to hear about your grandmother. i hopey are feeling good and enjoying the weekend. i am glad to see you back to posting:)! praying for you!